Marry, Shag, Kill: The Writing Challenge
by Red Giraffes
Summary: As Draco and Ron are forced into a marriage, how does Ron react?


**(AN: Challenge fiction for the Marry, Shag, Kill challenge by Paris in December. Turned out better than I thought : ) I think this is appropriate as T, if you think it should be higher, let me know. )**

On days like today, Ron was left pondering life. Not like he had much other to do while he was in prison. How, exactly, did he end up in prison? Well, it all started just a few days ago…

"Ron! You blubbering moron!" Draco yelled at Ron at the Great Hall. Ron glanced up, and glared at his fiancée.

"Just because we are going to be married soon does not mean you can treat me however you want, _darling. It also doesn't mean I have to listen to you." Ron pouted, and crossed his arms across his chest. In a reverse Romeo and Juliet, the two boys are forced to be married to end the feud between the two pure-blooded families. The Weasley siblings had drawn straws to see who would have to marry, and Ron ended up with the shortest._

"Well, _Ronykins, We have a dress rehearsal today. At three. Don't be late, or else." With that, Draco left Ron sitting all alone. He was to be married tomorrow, by no choice of his._

At least he was gay, he thought to himself. It could be worse. But still… to be forced into a relationship with your greatest enemy… Ron would not stand for it!

Just then, a large, grey barn owl dropped a howler onto his lap. Ron sighed; it's like they knew what he was thinking sometimes. He listened patiently to the Howler yell at him, and telling him he better get married or else, ignoring the snickering around him.

He missed Hermione and Harry, but they have been avoiding him ever since he was engaged to the blond git. He needed a friend. He looked down the table, and saw Seamus, sitting there all alone. Ron gave a predatory smile and approached the poor boy.

"Oh Seamus? I need some help in… charms. Care to help me?" Ron said, batting his eyelashes at his fellow class mate. Seamus looked slightly confused, and a little dazed.

"Sure, Ron. When?"

"Now?" Ron watched as Seamus pondered it, and his heart leaped as he agreed. He grabbed Seamus' hand, and led him to the room of requirements.

_Later_

"Hey, Seamus, what's the time?" Ron said, stretching lazily after having great stranger-sex. Seamus glanced up.

"2:30. Why? You have a date?" Seamus said, teasingly. Ron flew out of the bed.

"Oh, shit! Pants, pants, pants. WHERE ARE MY PANTS? Oh, there they are. I'm going to be late for me dress rehearsal. Thank you, you were great, have a great life!" Ron ran out of the room, leaving a very confused and depressed Seamus in bed alone.

Ron barely made it through the doors in time for the rehearsal, and Draco was already glaring at him. Ron was feeling short tempered already. There was no one in the room yet, a perfect time to yell at your husband-to-be.

"What the hell do you want from me? I'm here, aren't I?" Ron stated, frustrated. Draco looked slightly hurt.

"Isn't there part of you at all that wants this, Weasley?" Draco said, shuffling his feet around. Ron's face softened, as he truly thought about it. True, their families are supposed to hate each other, but is it really that bad? TO be forced to marry the hottest guy in school? And the richest, one who could allow him to boast to his siblings how successful his life is?

"I thought you completely hated me."

"I thought you completely hated me." They stared at each other, realization hitting. Ron ran u to Draco, and kissed him, spinning him around.

Moments later, when they decided they needed to breathe, Ron realizes something.

"Isn't there a dress rehearsal?" He asked breathlessly, staring into the stormy eyes of his newly founded lover. Draco only chuckled.

"There's no dress Ron, why would we have a dress rehearsal? Besides, I like to play thins by… ear." Draco said, nipping at the redhead's ear. Ron blushed ferociously, realizing he had been played.

"Well… now what?"

"I can think of a few things." Draco picked up a blushing Ron bridal style, and carried him off to an undisclosed location.

_The Next Day_

"You ready Ron?" His sister asked, before he was sent out. He was to play the role of the bride, and had a bouquet to carry, and a veil to wear. The only thing missing was the dress. And the heels.

"Ready." With a deep breath, Ron took the bridal march alone, as was customary for male wizards to do. They decided to have the ceremony outside, so the whole school and both of the families could attend. It was spring, so the flowers were just starting to bloom. Ron hoped there were no bees, he despised bees.

"Dearly beloved and departed, we are gathered…" Ron tuned the Wizards out, staring at his love. He already knew when to make certain oaths, and when certain spell should be casted. He didn't need to pay attention for that. All he could notice was how beautiful Draco looked in the sunlight as it hit him in all the right places. He was beautiful.

"Are there any objections?"

"I object!" Lavender yelled as she stood up. She was completely dressed in black, symbolic to her mourning. She walked into the aisle, ready to give a speech.

Ron sighed, and looked at his bouquet, examining the magical flowers when he noticed the bees. Ron screamed, and tossed the bouquet in whatever direction it would go. Unfortunately for Lavender, it happened to be where she was standing.

"Ron you know I'm aller-" It didn't take long for her to drop dead, swollen and rejected from love. Ron stood there, unsure of what to do. He didn't know she was allergic to bees, how could he have? She was just the crazy stalker that followed him around.

"Hey, asshole. You just killed my daughter!" Mr. Brown shouted as he stood up. Draco sent a hex at the man for insulting his husband. It didn't take long for a full out war to follow. Soon colors were flashing, hexes being sent everywhere.

"I PRONOUNCE YOU HUSBAND AND HUSBAND!" Screamed the wizards in charge of the ceremony, before running away screaming like a little girl. That was mostly due to the gender changing spell that had hit him.

Soon, the law enforcement arrived, and everyone pointed their fingers at Ron, and Draco. They did look extremely guilty, being the main target of hexes left an apparent mark on their colorful, feathered, mishapped bodies.

And that was how he ended up in jail. Ron stuck his hand through the bar, and felt his husbands hand in his. Someday, they were going to look back and laugh. For now, they had each other.


End file.
